Actually Puzzles and Pickles
by RocksMakeGoodPets
Summary: 1st ficcy. *Ed Griffith is a let's start out in the U.K. but the U.S. sounds nice but hey Japan must be pretty B.A. kinda girl. Then when she in Japan she meets "them" and she decides she objects. *This is a re-upload. Poop happens*


**The Prelude To This Pile of Nothing**

****Warning* Expect boringness through this first chapter. You're really just reading character intro's here so keep reading to get to the good parts.****

**I don't own the host club or anything related to it in any manner or form.**

**Oh, and I'm story stalking the two Misses BlackcatBlueBird (with permission from Bluebird:)) You should also go check their story. ~ Rubik's Cube and Ponies**

It was indeed hazy, but I heard it.

"And the winner here tonight is... Miss Eden Griffith! Applauds everyone!" Said an announcer.

'Well, Hmmm... It seem I've won,' and that was my lone thought. Well, actually, that and, 'Can't a fourteen year old Ed get any good winks around here?'

"Come on up, Miss Griffith!" The obnoxious announcers continued again. My thoughts then wandered over to the image of me happily slapping the annoying, stubby man with burritos as I started drifting back into my merry slumber. Just as my eyeballs were almost all the way lidded, KER-SLAP! Right across the face... **my** face.

"WHAT!" I yelled as I quickly stood up from my most amazingly comfortable, unfold-able, metal chair without arms. Everyone stared slightly at me, okay not slightly, and they weren't really stares...

More like angry evil-eyes-of-doom, but, hey. Whatever.

I looked over at my cocoa-coloured companion who was smiling at me with her ghastly pearly white teeth. I gave her a phony, crooked, smile in return and added, "A lil' slap happy aren't we, Mikaya?" Mikaya Forrest's grin grew in both size and mischievousness.

"Heehee, don't you know it!" She whispered into my beautiful ear. (It's not really that beautiful.) "Now you get your giant butt up onto that stage, you won!"It took me a foggy minute to answer, but I did.

"Oh... Ya, that's... right." I started towards the stage through the crowd of ever-glaring watchers that looked like they would sprout torches and pitchforks out of their hands at any moment. That would be okay though 'cause I was ready for anything, half asleep or not.

I then FINALLY made it to the said stage.

"Thank you for joining us this fine evening, Miss Griffith and congratulations you wi-"

"HEY! Wait just a minute!... My butt is NOT giant!" I oh-so-intelligently shouted out in the oh-so-wonderfully placed microphone. My... small out burst... earned me a few more death looks, (maybe even some death notedge) some giggles, some more face-palms, and a thumbs up from a certain skinny black girl and her luminous teethers! Oh, and some perv. whistles, can't forget those.

"Ummm, thank you... Miss... Griffith." Said Mr. announcer as he smiled politely. Even so, I could see that deep, deeeeeeep within, he was thinking, 'Wat da fuuuu-'...

I was thinking the same thing.

He sighed and finally said with a delightful monotone voice, "You have won the lottery draw and get to go to a top-class, private Japanese school, Ouran Academy, fully paid for. Once again, congratulations."

'What... why would I wanna go to a- Ah!' I put a fist into my other hand and made just that noise out loud. "Ah." Everyone talking for some reason shut up suddenly. Then all the audience stared at me with expecting faces.

"I bet they have nice food there," I finished so fantastically that I should've bowed. I inwardly smiled, the crowds faces turned from stern, to confused (minus Miss perfect teeth in the back) in just a millisecond. I counted.

"Uhhh, yes. I'm sure they do." The now overly joyous announcer assured me. What a nice guy he was.

The beautiful, after-a-boring-assembly, type party took place after the indeed boring assembly to celebrate my ''reward''. It was a party that actually just consist of Mikaya, me, and a bar that served rocking booze to minors, and milk to wimps, (Like Mi.)

"Ah! That hit the spot!" I said while gurgling up the Smirnoff I had just downed. Mi looked at me and shook her mid-back, curly-haired, head.

"You shouldn't be drinking," She pointed out like it was a shock. "Even if it's just Smirnoff. And you should probably get home and tell your mum that you have to leave in a month or so." I put my drink down and tried distracting myself by looking at a suddenly interesting label. "Hey, Ed, you alright girl?"

'Nope' was my first thought and the more truthful answer, but. "Ya, just... Not feeling homily tonight, ya know?" I smiled a wider and more crooked, but less white smile. Mikaya laughed her dainty lil' laugh, the one that could swallow a guy whole and make his inner stalker rise to the surface.

Man, I hate that laugh. No, just jealous actually.

"You do know 'homily' means 'plain', right?" Ya. That laugh again. I laughed, it was metallic-y, and I snorted...

Oh snap.

You wish you snorted.

I looked over in the opposite direction of the beautiful girl that angered me so at a couple of middle aged looking men who were being ever-so stealthy about their checking us out...

Well, checking Mi out.

'Pfft, What scumbags. What makes them think that their ugly little grubby eyeballs are even worthy of looking in this direction?' My thoughts wondered to a lot of different, not exactly good or sensible, places, while Mi talked about something like, homecoming dates or whatever. Not really like I was really paying my full attention but I nodded and said, "Yup" a few times.

Then my 'giant butt' vibrated a few times. "Heehee," I chuckled. Hey, it felt pervy, you would laugh too. Mikaya looked over at me for a second in silence, still smiling, her gigantic brown eyes sparkling as much as her gaudy lavender and black, strapless, knee- length dress and matching black pumps... She made my sweatpants and my, **The Cinematic Orchestra**, band-tee look TOTALLY sexy... sarcasm.

"You thought it was funny too! But Ale-" Mikaya stopped as soon as she started as I held up my hand with my open cellphone. Mikaya rolled her eyeballs and put down her glass of delectable milk. "You haven't been listening at all this whole time, have you?" I smirked sneakily and, just for kicks of course I had to answer her with a half serious: "Uh huh, yup. That's neato."

She smirked back and rolled herself around in her stool so that she faced the counter instead of me. For a while we just sat, me forgetting about my text. "Who is it?"

I looked over at Mi, probably with a dumb, 'da-fudge-you-talkin'-'bout-women- look. "The text... You know... Who was it?"

"Oh! Adele, haven't opened it yet... waitin' for that monkey to come and do it." Mikaya took my phone out of my hand that didn't have any raspberry Smirnoff in it. "Hey, what was that for, yo?" In return to my serious question, I got a clownish smile.

"You mad, bro?"

"Whatever, I don't seem to have a the patience for a monkey after all." I laughed stupidly.

Mi gawked open her mouth, "Racist!" She cried loudly. I then grabbed the phone from her hand moving as fast as the alcohol would let me. Opening the celly, I smiled mischievously and stuck out my tongue towards the victim of my suckish, (and horrible never do that kids,) jokes

Wait... What?

But...

Now?

As I was computing the text from my best friend those were the only words that I could actually think.

:_Grammie had a heart attack, she didn't make this one. I can't stay here. I'm moving.:_

"Ah, no!" I whispered quietly.

A curious look came from the girlie next to me. "What's wrong, Ed?" I didn't know how to deal with this. My best friend was leaving, I didn't really know what was up. That's what I wanted to say, but,

"Nothin'!" I answered cheerily, falsely so though. Mikaya looked at me suspiciously, eyeballing the cellphone in my hand.

"Fine, don't tell me."

"I won't."

Adele, the only person that this Ed could tolerate... was leaving me... forever? I wasn't sure. I was sure that I didn't have very many friends though. Man...

This sucks.

Then a legitimate thought occurred to me, which was shocking because I don' think as much as a normal person should. "That Japanese school!" Puzzlement painted on her face, Mikaya just continued to drink her milk while I continued explaining."I think I'm gonna go there, the Ouran place."

I needed to get out of my house, anyway.

* * *

><p>It had been one month.<p>

One month since I packed my torso-sized bags of clothing and other necessities. The bags I had packed after I made the maybe half-drunk decision to leave my cozy home in the U.S.A. I left the tiny house I used to have to clean every Saturday and also the person, Mikaya Forrest, that I called one of my only other friends. It didn't matter to me anymore anyway though, I needed something different.

"~Off I go to Ouran!

~the Japanese school for Asians and such!" I sang in a half-assed way from the airport in... I think it was called Honshua or somethin',

I can't ever understand them Japanese Mofo's.

Wait... Crap!

"I DON'T SEEM TO HAVE ANYWHERE TO LIVE!" The words came out just a tad bit louder than I had originally planned for them to. Let's just say that I think I heard dogs from other islands start barking. I groaned in a I'm-exasperated kind of way which apparently Japanese people found interesting because I started getting looks.

Man I'm tired of looks right now.

"Gah, I'll just start with finding that lil' school building place, Ouran or such. It better not suck complete donkey-butt-hairs." _Growwwwl... _Stupid stomach. Maybe this wasn't a good idea. I don't even have money. At least I was assured a nice, slightly squeaky, bed and wonderful, slightly burned, meals at home. Man, this is whack.

As I complained my way through the confusing streets of some Japanese place- This gigantic... I'm guessing it's a school because on the snazzy front gate it says , 'Ouran Academy'.

...Ouran...

Holy dear mother of a fat man in sweat pants with -

burritos.

**THIS **is my new school?

**~Do not worry my precious-esses, This was a short chapter they will get longer... maybe... or will they? Ponder that.**


End file.
